Learning Adventures

June 5, 2008

How Fathers Can Help Kids Succeed in School – Two Easy Ways That Won’t Cost a Cent

Filed under: Fathers and literacy — estherjantzen @ 2:39 pm
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Fathers want children to learn, grow, and succeed in school.  Here are two top no-cost ways that Dads can help their kids develop both strong reading skills and the attitudes that lead to achievement, and have fun as well!

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Just below this paragraph is an article on this that I’ve submitted to ezinearticles.com as part of a series I’m creating on fathers and how they can support their children’s literacy.  My friend Jeanette Fisher (an article queen) encouraged me to do this and walked me through the submission process. I had several false starts as I didn’t do the links correctly in the ‘resource box’ that contains author info and links to author’s websites (you can see the resource box at the end of this article). Jeanette suggests putting the articles in my blog first, before submitting, as I did with my May 14 entry, though I changed the title of that one. Perhaps the articles will get picked up around Father’s Day, if ezinearticles approves them. This is all a continuous adventure in learning more effective use of the internet.  Bless us all! Thank you, Jeanette!

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How Fathers Can Help Kids Succeed in School – Two Easy Ways That Won’t Cost a Cent

You love your children, that’s a given. You want them to be at least as successful in school as you were, maybe more so.

But sometimes you’re not quite sure how to help your kids to become successful, right?

If this fits, please read on.

First, understand that as a dad, you are incredibly important to your children whether you live with them or not. Don’t ever think otherwise. Even if society has labeled you a deadbeat dad, you are still important.

Understand that what kids need most from you actually doesn’t take money, though providing for them financially is important.

Dads, here are two significant no-cost things you can do to help your kids achieve. It’s best to start these at an early age, but if you didn’t, it’s not too late. You can start today.

1) Talk with your kids. That means more than asking “Did you do your homework?”

Instead, try conversation starters like “Tell me about…” or “What do you think about…” or “Describe…”

Then count to 10 very slowly in your head before you say anything else. Give them the time they need to gather their thoughts–teachers call that “wait time.”

Listen carefully to what your child says and ask at least one follow-up question. “Why…?” is often a good one. Or try, “Yes, and anything else?”

Don’t hesitate to use big words when you talk with your children. That’s how they learn them. Kids need to hear words from your mouth, not the television, radio, or computer.

There was a study recently of how many words young children hear in their homes. What they found was that the average four-year-old in a welfare family has heard only a third of the number of words that a child in a professional family has. And a child’s vocabulary at age three predicts their reading success throughout their school life.

It costs nothing to talk with and listen more to your children. Overall, be quick to encourage and slow to criticize as you converse with children. It’s easy, with a little practice. You can do it.

And it’s also good to sing to them, even if it’s a little awkward at first. Let your voice convey your loving.

2) Read aloud to your kids. Part of the job of a father is to introduce kids to the world in safe and fun ways.

Reading books can do that. Books teach kids about words, history, geography, people, feelings, and science-well, just about almost everything.

It is especially important for boys to see men reading–often! This means both reading aloud to them and reading by yourself.

If you’re not a big reader of books yourself, get magazines (appropriate ones!) or newspapers you like and make sure your kids see you reading them.

Children learn by watching what their parents (or adults around them) do and then copying that.

Realize you can help your kids be successful in school by just talking and reading with them. For as you know, scholastic achievement and success in life depends a lot on the ability to use language.

And finally, for the few short years your children are young, enjoy them wholeheartedly! That helps them succeed, too.

“Your children need your presence more than they need your presents.”

- quote attributed to Jesse Jackson

For more FREE materials on helping children learn, go to http://familylearningjournal.com or http://youpublish.com/estherjantzen.

Dr. Esther Jantzen is a former high school teacher and reading specialist. As a children’s literacy advocate and educational entrepreneur, she develops materials to support parents in doing things at home that help children become better readers and learners. Her forthcoming book, PLUS It! How to Easily Turn Everyday Activities into Learning Adventures for Kids, will be published in paperback in Fall 2008.

Copyright © 2008 by Esther A. Jantzen

May 14, 2008

5 Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father

Filed under: Fathers and literacy — estherjantzen @ 10:13 pm

Whoa–I’ve been at the computer a lot. Today I finished a brief article to fathers– the kind of article I hope will be passed around at schools, churches, in places where dads congregate. It’s about communication, building confidence, modeling vital social skills, and love. Here it is:

Five Powerful Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father

by Esther Jantzen, Ed.D.

Dads, this is a grandmother speaking. I have a bit of advice about raising children, if you’re open to hearing it.

I know you had hard times growing up. Maybe your father was nice to you, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe you knew him well, maybe you didn’t.

Your kids will have hard times, too–they’ll have disappointments, fear, hurt, shame, uncertainty, anger. We all do.

But never, ever underestimate the importance of a father to kids.

I’ll give you five statements here that children need to hear from their father. Face-to-face is great, if possible, or on the phone, in a letter, or in some other way. These words help give kids emotional strength.

You might not use exactly these phrases, and you wouldn’t use them all at once, but please make sure your child gets the message behind these powerful words.

1. “I’m proud…” you’re my son or daughter. You can say this out of the blue; it does not need to be connected to any achievement, although it could be. They’ll also get this message when you say, “I notice … how your drawings are changing … how you seem happier… or how you’re doing better at school.”

2. “That’s okay… How can you learn from that?” Use this when there’s been a mistake or problem. It teaches kids it’s normal, necessary, and perhaps even healthy to make mistakes. We all do. The important thing about a mistake is what you can learn from it. If you can learn from it, the guilt and hurt often go away.

3. “I’m sorry…” for ____. Fill in the blank. Maybe it would be… for yelling at you the other night… for missing your ball game… for not keeping my promise. When adults apologize, kids learn how to clean things up between people, and that’s something they need to know. And, of course, the best apology is changed behavior.

4. “Tell me more…” or “Yes, and what else?” These words let a kid know you’re listening, you’re interested and you’ll give them your attention and time. These words encourage them to develop and express ideas. Believe it or not, they can help kids gain skills that are useful in school. And, of course, be sure you listen when they talk.

5. “I love you forever.” Even if you’re mad as heck or live far apart from your kids, they need to know you’re behind them, you love them for no reason except that you’re connected as father and child forever. Your love is their birthright.

And one more thing. Dads, if for any reason you’ve never heard these things from your father, say them to yourself. That works, too.

With love, Grandma.

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